Birthdays: Then and Now

Dear all, this is my 10th post since starting this blog. For those who have been reading from the start, thank you for your continuous viewership! For those who just joined or read once in a while, you're more than welcome to continue reading my Waydespectives :). I have received a lot of support for this blog, so my "verbal commendation" to all who have given me ideas or comments for my blog. I will improve and keep trying to do better!
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Recently, I celebrated my 19th anniversary of staying on the face of this Earth without being wiped out by any meteor of sorts. In other words (I.e. to say), I celebrated my 19th Birthday last Friday. It wasn't as per other people's birthdays, where they hold lavish parties or go clubbing the entire night. It was more of a simple dinner with my family on Friday evening, a cake cutting session yesterday followed up by a gathering of close friends this afternoon.

One usual habit of birthdays is to look back and take stock of what I've achieved in the past 19 years. However, this time, I was thinking of rather how I viewed birthdays over the past few years, and how my views towards birthdays have changed.

In the past, birthdays used to be a big thing. I used to receive gifts from friends and my family would throw a big party, be it ordering a big cake to my primary school class, or having friends over to have a celebration. Back then, birthdays were more of a celebration of myself. Because of that, I was soon accustomed to the "admiration" one gets on their birthday, and started to expect people to remember my birthday and give me surprises parties and gifts on my birthday.

Perhaps that wasn't meant to be, or at least I realized the world didn't revolve around me that much. (Or in actuality, the friends I make aren't the type to be into big parties and expensive gifts)

Currently, birthdays to me are not so much of a celebration of myself. Not only is it a time for me to reflect over what I've accomplished (or lack thereof) over the past year, it's also a time for catch-up with the people around me. Towards the tail-end of my NUSHS life, I realized that everyone's been getting so busy as we were nearing graduation, with final tests coming and the like. This year, everyone is busy, be it for NS or preparing for university. It's now hard to hold conversations or have meetups to really catch up over life, whereas a birthday gives quite a good opportunity to do so. I managed to have a happy Korean BBQ with my closest friends this past afternoon, and could catch up with people I haven't seen in almost 9 months.

I also remember that my birthday last year was a very hectic one. I had lessons from 8 through 3, and then an NUS module lecture from 4-6, before having dinner with my friends and rushing back for a meeting. I didn't even have time to meet my family, so this year I made it a point that I must have a meal with my family during my birthday.

A simple wish of "Happy Birthday" can kick start a conversation, for 2 friends of the past to catch up and see how each other are doing. I am blessed this year that friends who I have not spoken to in a while, message me and talking about life, what they are doing now, and what they are expecting in the near future. While these conversations are often short, such conversations reignite a friendship that would otherwise be frozen with time. 

So, I guess these are what birthdays are about, spending time with the people who matter, and a conversation starter to friends you otherwise have not much to speak to.

However, birthdays still sometimes remain a double edged sword. While I was surprised at the number of people who remembered my birthday, or at least saw the news from somewhere and bothered to wish me a Happy Birthday, I was also shocked at others. These are the people who I thought would remember my birthday, given our close friendship, but simply forget it or did not bother to wish me. I don't necessarily say I expect all my close friends to wish me, but to see some of the really close ones not wishing is certainly rather hurtful and disappointing. Nor do I expect a lengthy birthday wish, just a simple one line wish would do.

Hence, birthdays are also sometimes a trying period, whereby I have to re-evaluate some friendships, and ponder if they're putting in a fraction of the effort I put in to the friendship, and if the friendship is really worth it.

In conclusion, birthdays for me have come a long way in how I view them. It used to be more about material goods and showing off to others, which was more on the selfish side. Now, it's more of seeing who bothers, who cares, and who stays in my life (or otherwise).

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